Entry Music
Arrival of the Queen of Sheba (Handel)
by Steve Porter
Welcome and Opening Words
Good morning and thank you all so much for being here today on this sad occasion as we come together to say our personal goodbyes to Andrea Helen Long, daughter of Roy and Jo who sadly due to ill health is unable to be with us today; beloved wife of David, much loved Mum of Hannah and Eve and a very special younger sister of Lynda and Alison.
No matter how you knew Andrea - as an aunt, a cousin, a loyal friend, a colleague, a business associate or a fellow Mum - there is no doubt that such a very special lady will be sorely missed by everyone who had the good fortune to be a part of her life.
This year had scarcely begun when the bombshell was dropped that she was suffering from advanced cancer but it was typical of Andrea that her first concern upon hearing the news was its bad timing - coming right in the middle of Hannah's preparation for her important GCSE exams. It surprise no-one that Andrea made sure she was there at the end of August to hear the brilliant news about Hannah's results.
This year has been desperately difficult for all those who loved Andrea so much and hated to see her suffer but it was a tremendous relief for them to know that she was able to spend her last few months in The Gracewell of Camberley Care Home, in such lovely reassuring surroundings and in the expert care of their wonderful staff - so a heartfelt thank you goes to all of you from David and the family.
Although today is extremely sad and poignant for everyone here - we would not be doing Andrea justice if we didn't take this opportunity to celebrate the life of this generous, kind and intelligent lady.
I'm Edith Wright, an independent funeral celebrant who is to be given the privilege of guiding you through our ceremony today.
Andrea was not particularly religious in her adult life so our service will quite simply focus on the lady herself. By the way - the beautiful piece of music which welcomed her into the chapel a few moments ago was the first of 3 which chosen by Andrea specifically for today's service.
Some of us, whether religious or not, like the idea that something or somewhere may exist beyond our time on this earth but David, Hannah and Eve firmly believe that Andrea will live on within them - in their hearts and in their minds, through their shared experiences and in the natural world around them. In that she will never be far from their side.
Andrea wasn't the type of person who would wish to be the cause of great distress and sadness for any length of time. She would rather that her loved ones were able to find to move forward with their own lives - heartened by memories of precious times spent together and inspired and encouraged by the manner in which she used her time on this earth.
The words of the poem 'She is Gone' offer both comfort and wise counsel and will be read by Stephen Carpenter who, in his role as Best Man, spoke at David and Andrea's wedding 26 years ago.
Stephen - please join me.
Poem
She is Gone by David Harkins
read by Stephen Carpenter
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
A Celebration of Andrea's Life
including
Tributes from Family and Friends
David described Andrea as being incredibly loving and absolutely dedicated to her family. She was a great Mum who always wanted to do her best for her daughters.
Andrea was kind, caring, sociable and vivacious with a big smile, an infectious laugh and a great sense of . She was always happy to help others and she went out of her way to make people feel included.
Andrea was pragmatic, confident, with her own definite ideas and opinions and she did not suffer fools gladly. She was clever, intelligent, creative and artistic with a strong work ethic to which she added passion and energy.
Andrea enjoyed reading with a particular love of the classics - Jane Austen and the Bronte Sisters which meant that she would never pass up an opportunity to watch any adaptation of their novels on TV.
Although she was very in certain ways there was a slightly scatty side to her character which might best be illustrated by highlighting her unique sense of direction - or perhaps I should say - total lack of it! Technology was also the 'bête noire' of her life - Hannah and Eve often heard tales of how Apple, and Google had singled Mum out to make her life a misery, the TV remote remained a mystery and as for her sat-nav - well, combined with her sense of direction - I shall leave that to your imagination!
One very special member of the family who listened sympathetically to all these tales of woe was her beloved dog Pippa who was often by her side on walks and while she worked on her lovely garden - a task she thoroughly enjoyed.
Andrea was born in Bilsthorpe near Nottingham on the 18th of October 1967 – the youngest of 3 daughters born to Jo and Roy Stacey – her elder sisters being Lynda and Alison.
One of her Mum's earliest memories of Andrea was just after she started school - being told by her teacher that her daughter's incessant chatter was driving her nuts and that Andrea had her own agenda about what class she would attend or who she wanted to sit with - even at the age of 5 she very much knew her own mind.
Her sister Alison recalls their very happy childhood and both she and her Mum remember Andrea's particular hobby of rowing - a sport where determined practice not only improved her skill but much to the envy of her two old sisters helped to develop a rather attractive bust!
The family moved several times before coming south to live in Wokingham at which time Andrea, who was in the midst of studying for her O levels, enrolled as a pupil at The Holt School. Her arrival caused quite a stir among her classmates who were taken aback by this grown-up vision wearing kitten heels, American tan tights and carrying a leather satchel in direct contrast to their less sophisticated attire of baggy tights and short white socks.
Stacey as they called her was definitely different -but her big wide smile immediately won her many friends - friends who would be there with her to the end of her life, whose support and loyalty never wavered. Sadly Stacey passed away on the very day when they had planned to hold an impromptu early 50th birthday party for her.
The teenage Andrea was clever and artistic, very interested in dress and fabrics so she requested that her first work experience be with a company in that line of business - not so - she ended up in the quality control department of Thornton's chocolates where she was given the task of weighing each chocolate, cutting it in half and eating one of the pieces - for a chocoholic like Andrea - a dream job - for a short while!
When she left school at the age of 18 with A levels including English Literature, Art and Textiles she was accepted immediately into John Lewis's Management Training .
Andrea was always a very sociable person and after the move to her decision to join the Youth Theatre was partly to broaden her circle of friends. It did rather more than that - it introduced her to a young man by the name of David Long who, among his various backstage roles, would often be found serving behind the bar on Friday club nights. It was quite usual for a group of the older teenager members to head off after the meetings to the pub and in time a casual friendship grew into something more. Romance blossomed and a few years later David and Andrea were married in St Paul's Parish Church in Wokingham on the 22nd of June 1991 - the first day of a strong and loving marriage that in time would be enhanced by the arrival of their two lovely daughters - Hannah and Eve.
The couple spent the first part of their honeymoon in Paris and then down to explore the Limoges district of France - a trip that gives a slight hint of their love of independent travel - of trips abroad according to their own wishes - not for them the package holiday but an individual travel adventure.
The them backpack around the Greek Islands, visit the Maldives, enjoy several unforgettable driving experiences exploring different parts of the USA where they fell in love with San Francisco and Yosemite. One trip took them east and south from that city, another north as far as Seattle while an east coast adventure which began in New York and headed north as far as Toronto finished in Boston. Of all the wonderful sights that they experienced it was the awe-inspiring power and beauty of Yosemite that made the greatest impact on Andrea. Nearer to home a family campervan holiday 3 years ago in Scotland led them to Camusdarach on the west coast and to a beach that Andrea considered to be the most beautiful place she had ever seen in Britain.
Easter of 2016 saw the family head off to spend a fabulous, fun-filled 10 days visiting Disneyworld and Universal Studios. The Magic Kingdom proved to be just that - bringing out the kid in Mum and Dad, leaving wonderful memories of spontaneous fun and laughter - eating out every day - proper American breakfasts, trying out the scariest rides which of course Andrea was up for - she was never one to shy away from doing anything scary - indeed her great regret was that she didn't fulfil her wish to parachute out of an aircraft.
But life wasn't all about holidays - Andrea was employed for a good number of years as manager of the dress fabrics and haberdashery department of Heelas in Reading where she also ran the Christmas department for about 5 years. With her good taste and enthusiasm for the items she was selling, their house at Christmas displayed some extra special decorations. She then left John Lewis to concentrate on starting a family so was able to spend more time with her sister Alison and her family, helping her develop a fledgling business idea - one which they built up together and which grew faster than they ever expected! It began in 2001 - around the time of Hannah's birth and meant that the two sisters juggled business around to their families with some rather interesting scenarios. But even when they were away from home Andrea's thoughts were never far from her precious girls.
The business idea had grown from bringing back some pretty children's clothes while visiting Mum and Dad who now lived in Spain and eventually progressed to running their own shop Poco Ropa
in Crowthorne. Sadly the economic crisis in Spain where they obtained their stock and some sharp practice of competitors eventually led to their decision in 2012 to close down the business.
For a Andrea found herself without a job that benefited from her professional and passionate approach but thankfully a fresh opportunity arose when she was offered a job with the Forestry Commission - one which she could identify with her love of nature and walks in the woods and which she continued with until her diagnosis.
Andrea meant so much to so many people.
Her friends remember her infectious smile and laughter, her love of a good party and a great gin and tonic and her genuine concern for others.
Her sister Alison recalls how she and Andrea had an inbuilt telepathy with a habit of buying the same item unbeknown to each other. They often disagreed on matters - quite vocally - but that didn't detract from the fact that she was a wonderful sister.
Hannah and Eve recall Mum's love of shopping, her obsession with watching Judge Judy on TV and some of her more 'ditsy' moments. Let's not forget that her cuddles were quite simply the best!
Her Mum and Dad will cherish their memories of their strong, intelligent and very special daughter.
To she meant so much, as testified by their 26 years of marriage – Andrea was and will always be his loving wife, loyal partner, best friend and soulmate
now for our own thoughts while we listen to the second of Andrea's choice of music - the beautiful Moondance.
Music for Reflection
Moondance by Van Morrison
We have now almost reached the moment when we must acknowledge that Andrea's physical presence is no longer with us.
May I invite everyone to stand.
Please join me if you will in saying the traditional words of the Lord's Prayer.
The Lord's Prayer
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
will be done on earth
as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
the power and the glory,
and ever.
Amen
Farewell
Andrea - we are immensely proud and grateful that we have had the privilege to be a part of your journey through life.
We thank you for all that you have given to each of us during your time on this earth.
We thank you for your dedication to your family, your single-minded character, your intelligence and your artistic talent, your generosity of spirit and your sense of fun and but above we thank you for your love and your friendship.
We wrap our love tightly around you as we bid you farewell.
We now return Andrea's body to the elements to once again become part of the natural way of all being.
Life cycles endlessly and we are all part of that process.
The sun of her last day sets, clear in the sweetness of her liberty.
Andrea goes free of the earth and is released into the timelessness of our memories.
May she may rest in peace, in and in love.
Poem
Remember Me by Margaret Mead
To the living, I am gone.
To the sorrowful, I will never return.
To the angry, I was cheated,
But to the happy, I am at peace,
And to the faithful, I have never left.
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.
So as you stand upon a shore, gazing at a beautiful sea - remember me.
As you look in awe at a mighty forest and its grand majesty - remember me.
As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity - remember me.
Remember me in your heart, your thoughts, your memories of the times we loved,
the times we cried, the times we fought, the times we laughed.
For if you always think of me, I will never be gone.
White Net curtains close during the poem.
Closing Words
With much love, and affection we have been remembering the life of Andrea, a life that has been taken from us much too soon.
The loss of such a much loved and unique individual is bound to leave a huge hole in your own life so try to be gentle with yourself as you adjust to the new world around you without her presence. How long that adjustment will take - no-one knows for each one of us grieves in our own individual way. Grief has no particular path to follow and no with even the range and intensity of your emotions perhaps taking you by surprise.
The events of this year may well have blown your world apart and it may seem almost impossible right now to envisage a time when your heart will not feel broken. At best you may hope to reach a point where life becomes a little easier to cope when the pain finally lessens and then eventually a day may come when your memories are transformed into familiar companions that offer support instead of sorrow.
But love is not diminished by death - the love that you had for Andrea and she for you is unique and will survive grief. Try to be there for each other during the difficult days and talk about Andrea often, share your memories, your tears and your smiles. After she was too attractive and energetic a character to be tucked away in the back of your mind.
As you leave here today - each of you carrying your own personal memories of her - may you feel proud that you have been lucky enough to know such an amazing and wonderful lady. If the privilege of having known her encourages you to make the most of your own life, to treasure each day, to give just that tiny bit more of yourself to others then you will ensure that Andrea's legacy lives on.
We close our service with a song which was a particular of Andrea's - if you listen to the words - you might be forgiven for thinking that she had written them herself.
Music for Departure
Don't Rain on my Parade (Funny Girl)
by Barbra Streisand